Imagine a painting made of robots created by a scientist and another portrayal created by an artist! Which painting do you feel more connected to? Well, the chances are that the painting made by the scientist is extremely informative and technically sound; however, an artist may add an emotional edge, making it more engaging!
Interestingly, we all tend to follow the scientific approach in our day-to-day activities with our children; we have learned formulas to keep our child up to the mark. Fortunately, we are blessed to have resources to put our child in a great school like Bhatnagar International, we send them to coaching classes for better grades, we make them join a hobby class, we strive to feed them with the most nutritious food (stuffing the potato wedges with ground vegetables and what not...) and we may still sometimes feel - there is a disconnect somewhere! Perhaps there are moments when formulas fail and the friendship works.
It's not enough to raise a child solely with a scientific approach; sometimes it's important to be an excited parent, a curious parent, and, most importantly, a pal parent. Parenting can be stressful, a big responsibility and basically a formula - driven task, or it can be an exciting part of life where we revive our childhood memories through someone whom we love the most (our kids).
From taking care of studies and scores to hobbies, food, holidays and celebrating birthdays, we all apply scientific approach of parenting quite appropriately so now let's check if we are doing the maintenance task with an artistic approach with them!
1. HUG
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth..”
-Virginia Satir,
The first hug to the child has to be in the first hour of the day! We don't even realize how the first hour of the day passes by, from packing the lunch to making the child ready for school to reaching the bus stop - nothing is inevitable in the first hour. Let's add a five-minute hug and some love to the first hour of every day to make this the best hour for the child and for ourselves! Let’s make it a mandatory step of the day and see the magic of morning love work for you and for the child at its best!
2. HOST
When a guest comes over - we make them sit at ease, offer them a glass of water followed by hot or a cold drink and snacks. Once we settle down with an initial round of food and drinks, we start our chit-chat and fun time together. However, when our child comes home or at the bus stop, as concerned parents, we are all tempted to have a Q&A session with them of how their day has been etc (sometimes in an interrogative fashion rather than a friendly tone unintentionally though). Let’s hold onto our temptations and be a good host to them! The first half - hour that they spend with their parents after school defines the quality of the rest of the day. Let’s make it with great gestures rather than with ample words! Once this is followed - we will never have to ask them – how their day was, they would share it themselves!
3. EMPATHIZE
Getting good score, participating in sports and other extracurricular activities is just the start of their target activities through the day for this generation and not the end. From social networking (Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Twitter, and more) to pressure of looking good, digital games and the dream of having the latest gadgets, the list goes on and on - these are a few of their top priorities!
It’s not easy to be a child of this generation. The only way to strike a balance in today's fast-paced life is to be part of their exciting world! It is a different game to be a child of this generation, until we are not part of the game - we can never guide them how to win it!!
4. ENGAGE
One activity together every day that brings a smile on your child’s face is as important as the nutrition of the food we cook. We often go to malls, watch movies together that’s not good enough! Joining a hobby class, learning dance steps from the child, teaching him /her cooking, going for a jog, watching a daily serial, sketching together, buying groceries - the options are enormous and all worth our time together!
5. LEAST TECHNOLOGY HOUR
Five family members sitting at the dining table, whether in a restaurant or at home, all busy on their phones and tablets, is such a "normal scenario". Let’s make it unusual. Let's keep our phones, laptops, TV and every gadget on switch off mode and see if we can stay together for an hour! The chances are that we are not able to do so in the beginning however - this can be the best hour of the day - once you make it a routine to do so!
A child may not be able to verbalize these needs but these little changes and gestures towards them can surely leave a lasting impression on their childhood. Of course, it’s tough to find time every day to bring these changes; however, the good news is that you can start from anywhere, any day!
Ruchika Chopra Sethi
(Mother of Dhruv Sethi, IVth A)
